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You can do this.
Say it with me
“I can do this”
“I can do this”
Try one more time
“I can do this”

No matter what part of the grieving process you are going through. Know that we
are actively rooting for you. On my Day One I didn’t know anything except crushing
sorrow. At one point I just thought…. “How am I going to get through this?” Honestly, I
didn’t know. I didn’t know how my family was going to deal with the loss either. The
uncertainty was all around. The family was looking at me to give them the answers, and I
didn’t have them. In fact, every day for the first few months was the same question. How
am I going to get through this? Will I get through this? Do I even want to try?
So, are you going to get through this? Probably. Do you even want to try?
Somedays will be yes, and somedays will be no. Lots and lots of days will be laying around
telling yourself to do something when all you want to do is nothing. Somedays will be super
busy and yet accomplishing not a thing. It’s how it goes. But we are rooting for you. We
want you to be the best new you that you can be.
As the last years have unfolded with our son passing it has been a battle to keep
moving. LovesFromLuke was tough to get going but Jamie and I knew that we had to do
something for you. Maybe the blogs, maybe the knowledge that you’re not alone, or maybe
one of the books will help you. Behind everything we do it’s our love and compassion for
you that drives this nonprofit. That drives me to continue to write blogs not knowing if
anyone is reading them or if it’s helping anyone. But we do it for you. We pray for you, all
the decisions we make are for you. While reading this you may ask yourself “Why do you
care about a stranger?” It is because you just became another member of the worst club
ever. It’s the “I Lost My Loved One” club. No one wants to be in it. And it really sucks to
be in the club, you didn’t ask or petition to be in the club, but here you are. Here WE are
sometimes lost, sometimes standing on solid ground ready to take on the world, and

sometimes that days flashes in your brain and takes your breath away. We have stood were
you have stood. Fighting back those tears, or just trying to cling to some part of our sanity.
After four years I still feel it. It is as if an anchor is tied to me trying to slow down the path
to grief recovery.
But… It does get better. You have to try and you let yourself recover from this grief.
We have to keep moving forward to get better. Don’t be hard on yourself if days go by
without thinking about your loved one. It happens. You will not forget about your loved
one. They will always be with you in your heart and in your mind, it doesn’t matter if it’s a
matter of hours you’re your child was on this Earth or 40 years, they will always be with
you. You can do this. It is a battle somedays and other days just whip on by. There will be
a day, rain or shine, that you will be doing whatever you are doing and you will realize that
you will be okay. The void will be there, and eventually there will be another day, snow or
shine, and you will say that you are okay. Same void, same ache, but a void and an ache
that isn’t disabling. You will smile, laugh, and go through your day. You will do things,
activities and enjoy yourself for a time and all those things are good. And we are actively
rooting for you to have good times with friends and family. It may be years and years after
your loss that you can look back at your walk and be able to mark off the days or months or
years where you had changed.
I still am battling the grief of the loss of my son. The Holidays are behind me and
it’s just one of those things where I just grind through it. Mark off the days, September 2nd,
September 11th, October 31st, Thanksgiving, December 24th & 25th, December 31st &
January 1st. Our family supports each other and we all just know to work hard at being
patient with humanity and recognize that we all just want to have an enjoyable season with
friends and family. It will happen, it’s just time, patience, and forgiveness too.

So let us try it again
“We Can Do This”

Peace and Love to all of you

Pat and Jamie Santon
Loves From Luke (

Posted on by Jamie

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